Across from Test Track
Every great public company has great advertising. Sometimes, several companies join together to advertise in one big conference. Sometimes, it can cost a hundred bucks to see all of this advertising.
Every great theme park has thrills. Every great theme park has engaging and immersive experiences.
Some are more engaging and immersive than others.
Every great theme park has enough restrooms to accommodate the masses. But does every great theme park have an entire attraction for advertising purposes?
Welcome to Innoventions, presented by Liberty Mutual, IBM, T. Rowe Price, FLASH, Blue Cross & Blue Shield, Raytheon, Green Builder, Underwriters Laboratories, and Cornell University, or ILMIBMTRPFBCBSRGULCU, for short.
So, pay a hundred bucks for entrance to Epcot. Go enjoy being advertised to exploring the possibilities that the future holds. When you’re done doing that, take a left and shout out to the East Side. Over here, there are three big attractions, and just one restroom to accommodate them all (plus Starbucks!).
The one lonely Future World restroom is just to the right of the entrance to Innoventions, looking east. While you’re there, stop at the DVC kiosk and get some more advertising.
The three big attractions all warrant a pit stop for various reasons, as follows:
Universe of Energy
Great for a nice nap on a hot day!
It’s 45 minutes long. You know you drank a trenta mocha-iced-express-chino when you stopped at Starbucks. You think you’ll hold it for that long?
Next to Universe of Energy, you’ll find Wonders of Life nothing.
Not a thing here at all. Definitely not a “Festival Center.”
Mission Space
You know what those little bags are for, don’t you?
If you ride this thing with a full bladder, you will mess yourself up, and you’ll mess up your navigator, pilot, and engineer. You do not want to anger your flight crew. You have to fly to Mars with these people.
Test Track
Featuring jarring movement and g-forces.
If you ride this before restrooming first, you are not doing yourself a favor. There are no pit stops for these cars. And, there are no McDonalds to stop at halfway through your trip.
Instead, do yourself a big favor: Stop at this restroom before attacking the East Side. But, if you’re done with all the attractions here, you can bypass this restroom in favor of the little secret due south.
